Hamcules

The mighty Zeus grants Queen Saphirra a son to rescue their nation from the wrath of their ruler, King Amphitryon.

Hercules, being the unwanted, illegitimate, extraordinarily muscular twenty year-old prince he is, falls in love with Hebe, who is supposed to marry Hercules' brother, Iphicles.

So, the King decides to get Hercules killed by sending him off to some mission at which he is to be killed at an ambush.

English speaking people from Egypt ambush Hercules' division, and, with a stroke of luck, Hercules and his BFF are the only ones who remain alive, and instead of killing them, the commander decides to sell them as slaves.

They fight their way through slave-fights and finally reach their freedom, only to be captured again by the evil brother Iphicles. Just as Hercules' BFF is about to be executed, Hercules suddenly comes to sense and belief and asks for help from his daddy.

Meanwhile, there is this wedding talk but all we see is a girl in a white gown being dragged by soldiers.

Hercules rallies the people and defeats his father.

Hercules and Hebe live happily ever after.



This is basically what the movie The Legend of Hercules is about. It has shallow, underdeveloped characters, meaningless plot twists and apparently very universally aware and West-influenced Greeks and Egyptians. Basically, it is a waste of time; unless you want to have some fun and laugh at how Hercules denies the laws of physics.

Maybe because we've been cramming over it for the past week, my friend and I noticed an undeniable similarity between the movie Hercules and Shakespeare's tragedy, Hamlet.

A mean King: check.

An unwanted son who the King wants/tries to kill: check.

A girl over which the whole conflict is based on and who tries to commit suicide: check.

A loyal friend: check.

An angry brother: check.

I'd read an article talking about how all Hollywood movies were made up of variations of the same three plots. Unfortunately, when I now think of Hollywood movies, I think about cliches. And it is only the movies which actually manage to surprise the audience, give them more than what they'd expected when they were asking for the combo menu at the theater, that will be remembered 30 years from now, not some Hollywood cliche.

The main reason for the cliches and the basic plots is to give the audience what they want. The movie producers just want to make the audience feel satisfied; and some don't even care about that-they only care about the box office rating. In Hollywood, children don't die. In Hollywood, most movies end with happy endings. In Hollywood, the hero first seems to fail, but then he prevails and there is triumphant music playing in the background. In Hollywood, killing bad people is OK. In Hollywood, it's all about pleasing the audience. Unfortunately.

The one aspect of Hamlet different from Hercules was the ending. In Hamlet, all of the main characters except Horatio died. In Hercules, Hercules survives (duh, or else how could they make another excuse of a movie to make more money) and, Hebe somehow, miraculously, also survives. They have a child and live happily ever after.

William Hazlitt said,  "other dramatic writers give us very fine versions and paraphrases of nature; but Shakespeare, together with his own comments, gives us the original text, that we may judge for ourselves." Shakespeare gives us life itself on a silver platter. Hollywood gives us a distilled, child-proof, pleasing version of "life". And I would prefer the "original text", no matter how harsh or disturbing it may be, over the pathetic, dumbed down, diluted, twisted amalgamations like Hamcules any time.

What if?

 

"She woke up at the screeching sound of her alarm clock. She got dressed, had breakfast, and got in her red little Volkswagen. She checked her hair and makeup on the rear view mirror, something she usually wouldn't have done, but today was special. She took her usual route around town, heading for her office, keeping an eye on the digital clock on the dashboard so that she wouldn't be late on this special day. She saw the green traffic light in the distance with only a few seconds remaining, and she knew she had to get that. She increased the throttle, shifted gear, got on the left lane, and whizzed through the intersection just in time. What she didn't see was the swerving small Prius, which just missed the trunk of her car by a fraction of a second. She got to work on time, the elevator was right there, and headed up to the executive floor! She never would've thought this day would come. She knew her hair and makeup were fine, she confidently strode into the meeting room, and they closed the door after she got in."

Cabin pressure-stablizer? Check. Frontal warp engines? Check. Seatbelts? Check. Jumping to light speed, tearing through the fabric of time…

"She woke up at the screeching sound of her alarm clock. She got dressed, had breakfast, and got in her red little Volkswagen. She checked her hair and makeup on the rear view mirror, something she usually wouldn't have done, but today was special. She took her usual route around town, heading for her office, keeping an eye on the digital clock on the dashboard so that she wouldn't be late on this special day. She saw the green traffic light in the distance with only a few seconds remaining, and decided it wasn't worth it. She would get the next one.  She pressed the brakes, shifted gear, and halted at the intersection. Just as she stole a glance at the rear view mirror to make sure her briefcase was on the back seat, a swerving small Prius came out of the intersection, and crashed into her red little Volkswagen. From that moment on, her day was a day-time nightmare. She had to call the insurance company, had to reason with a clearly hungover guy, got to work late, and by the time she had darted up the stairs to the meeting room because the elevator was stuck on the executive floor, she was tired, sweaty, her hair was all messed up, and the meeting had already started. There goes the good first impression, she thought."

Don't you wonder what your life would have been like if you'd took that job offer in Germany? Or if you'd  bought a house on the suburbs rather than one in the city? Or if you'd eaten cereal for breakfast this morning?

Every second, we make decisions. I decide to write this blog post now rather than going to sleep. You decide to read this blog post, rather than dismissing it as the ramblings of  a teenager and going to the kitchen to get dinner. And every single decision we make changes the course of our lives, whether that change is so drastic that you die in the next three seconds, or you just don't see a specific stranger on the street that day. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could trace back the branches of life and take another road to see how our lives would have turned out? If only we had a TARDIS...

Of course, the idea of parallel universes does have its glitches. If a new universe is created with every decision someone makes, then there would be an infinite number of parallel universes, one for each decision one of us -among the 7.134 billion- makes. And, why shouldn't dogs and cats have parallel universes? What's so special about humans that WE get the parallel universes, and the heavens and the gods?

The countless number of movies made and books written on this issue of parallel universes only strengthen the hollow yet unnecessarily widely supported narcissistic set of mind, putting humans on top of every other species, and accepting -knowing- that we are special... somehow. Still, it would be cool to take up my De Lorean for a trip to another layer of time where, 300 million years ago, some curious fish on a planet called "the Earth" decided to remain in water and hadn't migrated onto land to begin life on land as we know it... What if?

I Want My Hour Back

60 minutes, 3600 seconds,

I lost my hour,

I want my hour,

Give it back.

 

Today, I lost an hour because of the summer time application; "Better utilization of the day hours!"

An hour I would have perhaps used to study for the physics exam on Wednesday.

An hour I would have perhaps used to finish The Shire Theme arrangement for the piano I've been working on for two weeks-more like planning to work on for two weeks.

An hour I would have perhaps used to SLEEP.

And where has it gone?

Just thrown away into the space, the endless void beyond the stars we see at night?

Time does that to you. It confuses you, it creates problems we really don't need right now.

Time passes. Only it passes slower when I'm in math class, and faster when I'm in physics or music. Or it doesn't really "pass" when we're asleep. We close our eyes, it is dark, we open them, it is day, and the only crumbs of memory we have are dreams, flashing, vivid pictures, which are seconds long. What happened to the rest of the time?

Time travel is another issue of concern. If it was invented in the future, we would have known by now, because a man in a space suit with six fingers on each of his hand would've stumbled into the middle of the Walmart claiming he is from the future.  One of my favorite movie series is Back to the Future, in which whatever Marty does affects his life in the future, as he tries to get back to it.

They cannot really explain how time works, and how it seems to take FOREVER for the video game to load, but it seems like it has only been 10 minutes since you've started playing it, when in reality it has been five hours. And today, I lost an hour of sleep, fun and doing homework (funny how those two words ended up together). I literally lost it. Now it is 12:52 PM, and I need to get started on studying history, studying the events of the time past, studying the events which might have happened right where I'm sitting right now, the battle of Sakarya, the establishment of the first parliament in Ankara... Same place, different people, different times. It is just like another layer, another world...

Just to confuse you a little more, before I get back to the present and the future, here's a question: If I went back in time and somehow caused my grandmother and grandfather to never meet, what would happen?

 

iPhones and Replicants

Last weekend, we needed to get our TV fixed, so we called the LG customer service in Turkey. A mechanical voice answered the phone, telling us to press numbers according to why we were calling, and then to "state our problem in a few words" to leave a message. We didn't even get to talk to a real person.

When we say "machines", people think of factories; pistons pumpin' and engines runnin'.

Your iPhone is a machine. The computer I'm writing this blog post on is a machine. My piano's a machine.

Yes, machines are all we need to make our lives more efficient, produce or consume more in less time, with less opportunity costs. They are the pearls of our world today, the very reason why innovation is so important...?

The x-ray is a machine. Guns are machines.

I am not in the group of people who worship The Machines and adore them. I think that we are way, way too involved with them and there is no way this can result in anything good.

Yesterday, I watched a TV show in which the cops went to a gun store to get information on a customer,  a suspect in a murder investigation. The gun shop owner kept saying the famous phrase "Guns don't kill". Finally, one of the cops said, "Stupid people with guns kill".

I cannot emphasize how true this statement by the cop is. Yes, guns sitting on the counter may not spontaneously go off and kill someone who double-crossed it, maybe forgot to grease it in the morning, but people, particularly stupid people with guns, do kill. The gun is the most horrible machine to have ever been invented and to have gotten into the hands of humans. Maybe it is useful in the military business, but now nearly 40 % of America has a gun stored under their pillow.

Apart from guns, which were designed to hurt and kill, there are machines which are really, really creepy.  The LG Customer Service talking-lady was certainly creepy; machines replacing humans. My iPhone recognizes what I say, converts it into text, understands it, and answers me. What is not creepy about that?

The movies Blade Runner and The Matrix are classified as science fiction. In both, machines rise against humans and they overpower them, gaining control over the world. It may sound a little paranoid, but with what we have right now; 3D without glasses, phones who talk to you, robots who serve you, those days of Replicants doesn't seem to be far away - that is, assuming that we all don't kill each other with those guns before that.

24601

Fight. Dream. Hope. Love.

This is the tagline for my currently-favorite film, Les Misérables. I've watched it a couple of times over the past week, and just watching its trailer a year ago was enough for it swoop in and grab the throne from Batman Begins, in my Top-10 list. I guess the incredible, extraordinarily talented cast made up of Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried and Helena Bohem-Carter may have played a part in the movie being such an awesome one. I know, the word "awesome" is  a little cheesy, but it's the one that best suits this situation.

What made the movie so special for me is the fact that it was a musical, using the music written by the French composer Claude-Michel Schönberg. Some people, one of them being one of my closest friends who I've dragged with me to see the movie a second time, didn't like the movie being "all-sing and no-speak". I think otherwise. I believe that by adding moving chords and melodies caressing your ears, you magnify the meanings of the words and the richness of the movie, not degrade it.

When you notice the chord progressions from E minor to F major when Javert and Fantine are talking, respectively, you get even a better insight into the characters because then you don't only have the words to understand them, but you also have the music.

What interested me the most and made me scrutinize our current judgement system was Jean Valjean's common phrase: "I stole a loaf of bread". He says this, meaning that he did not deserve the  time he served as a slave, that stealing bread for one's sister's child who is fighting death does not entitle serving 5 years as a slave. I was caught in a dilemma. Were some crimes forgivable, should the reason they were committed be investigated before slamming down the hammer of justice?  Or should just the fact that they are called "crimes" be enough to condemn one to slavery and a "badge of shame"?

Another aspect of the slavery and punishment system of the 19th century that seemed inhuman to me was giving a number to the prisoners and enslaving also their identities, their personalities, their individualities.

Les Misérables is an incredible work of art, combining great talents in acting with unbelievable and unexpected talents in singing, with a plot laid down 200 years ago by the renowned Victor Hugo that will surely bring tears to your eyes, all the same managing to criticize the way the poor have to fight to live while the rich get richer, and showing everyone the Jean Valjeans once murdered by the law that gets tighter and tighter, the Jean Valjeans murdered by a number, 24601.

Far over, the misty mountains cold...

Do you know what is one of the best things that can happen? Your favorite book, the one you never get tired of reading, the one you base your blog theme on, is made into a movie, with Peter Jackson directing it, Martin Freeman in the lead role and with Howard Shore making the soundtrack. What more could I possibly want?

After reading the book twice and watching the trailer literally hundreds of times, I finally got to see The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey; the first of the three-movie series adapted from J.R.R. Tolkien's novel The Hobbit; the prequel to Lord of the Rings. It was magnificent, and I tried hard to hold back tears at some parts, but that's just me.

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), is just a little, non-adventurous hobbit living merrily in his hobbit hole in a monotone life; until Gandalf the wizard pays a visit to him. Gandalf invites him to "share in an adventure". At first, Bilbo refuses, but the next morning, at 11 o'clock, he goes with "Thorin and Company" to claim their "long forgotten gold". (Is it weird that I'm writing all these quotes from memory?)

The movie didn't stick entirely to the book, I won't tell anymore, but I could still say some parts of the movie with the actors, because it was entirely the same as the novel. The chapter names were cleverly weaved inside the dialogues, and Bilbo's hobbit hole was just as it was described by Tolkien. Usually when a novel is made into a motion picture, the people who have read the novel are disappointed because the way they pictured stuff in their heads doesn't match the movie. I don't know how Peter Jackson managed to do this, but I don't think any of the readers were disappointed after watching The Hobbit; everything was in place, everything was perfect.

Without any doubt, my favorite scene in the 169 minutes was the Riddles In The Dark part; where Bilbo and Gollum have a riddle contest in the goblin tunnels. It was beautiful, creepy, funny and it gave you goosebumps all at the same time. This part was also one of my favorite parts in the novel, but seeing it in IMAX and 3D with Gollum hissing "preciouss" and his huge, white, plate-like eyes staring down at you, took it to a whole new level.

So, my advice to you is to go and watch The Hobbit ASAP (but you MUST read the book first!)! Believe me, you never would've imagined that a humble tale of 13 dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard searching for their "long forgotten gold" could be brought into motion picture this beautifully. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey will take you "Far over the misty mountains cold, Through dungeons deep, and caverns old."

Riding Camels Since...

Skyfall. It was in cinemas until a couple of weeks ago. Most critics liked it, it scored 8.1 in IMDB, I really liked it. The theater we saw Skyfall in was full, even though it was its third week. I'll bet most of the people in that theater went to Skyfall because they thought that it took place in Istanbul; this was one of the reasons we went to see it as well. What did we find? Five minutes of chasing scenes in narrow streets filled with street vendors, with the sound of Ezan, the Muslim call of prayer, in the back the whole time. Disappointed.

Taken 2. Was in cinemas until a month ago or so. A sequel to the movie Taken, taking part mostly in Istanbul, unlike Skyfall. However, I don't know how they achieved this, but the producers of Taken 2 had managed to portray Istanbul more "stereotyped" than the producers of Skyfall, even though they had two hours to do something with it. Again, we went to the movie because we found out that it took place in Istanbul, and we had time to kill. What did we find? Chasing scenes in narrow streets with women in chadors, street vendors, the same mosque shown over and over again, and again, "a man singing" (in Liam Neeson's words); Ezan, in the background the whole time. Again, disappointed.

I mean, it would take a lot of effort to show so little of Istanbul and its beauties in two hours when the whole movie takes place there. The Bosphorus was shown once, for literally two seconds. None of the historical artifacts where shown, even the chase scene inside the Grand Bazaar was crowded and showed very little of the beautiful place.

This orientalist view Hollywood producers have about Muslim countries unfortunately is transferred to the whole world through movies like Taken 2 and Skyfall. Skyfall was the better of the two, at least one chase scene took place on a highway. Anyway, if I was a person in living America, Brazil or Singapore who has never been to Turkey and I had watched both of these movies, going to Istanbul wouldn't seem so alluring to me.

It is this stereotyping that not only Hollywood producers have, but that other people also have, of Muslim countries or the countries of the Middle East that creates a misinformed, prejudiced public; it is this stereotyping that created children who ask their Turkish friend  they met in MUN whether they ride camels in Turkey.

 

Case and point. The setting for a scene in Skyfall.

Classical Music

What comes to your mind when someone says 'classical music'? Most people think of posh, elite people who sit around in their million dollar homes, sipping their expensive scotch, reading Yacht Monthly, with what they call 'classical music' playing in the background. What they do not realize is that, classical music, whether they recognise it or not, makes up a big part of our lives.

The music we hear playing in the background everytime Sylvester chases Tweety, or Tom chases Jerry, is The Flight of the Bumblebee by Rimsky Korsakov.

The main theme of Stanley Kubrick's famous movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, Also Sprach Zarasthura ( the one with the timpany playing), is actually a composition by Richard Strauss.

The universal funeral march, is actually a piece composed by Frederic Chopin.

You know the melody of the alphabet? And of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? That was composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

So, contrary to common belief, not only conservatory students or posh people listen to classical music. I doubt that without Binchois, Bach, Mozart or Chopin, there would any music today.


By the way, people who listen to and love classical music can also listen to other types of music, like hard rock or metal (experience speaking). Don't be prejudiced. ;)

Remember, Remember...

Remember, remember,

The fifth of November.

The Gunpowder treason and plot,

I know of no reason,

Why the Gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot!

Today is the fifth of November. Approximately 400 years ago, the House of Lords in England were tried to be blown up by men who didn't support the king back then, King James I. Guy Fawkes, responsible for planting the gunpowder beneath the House of Lords, just before the opening night of the Parliament, was caught, and his accomplices, hearing of his capture, ran away, so the Gunpowder Plot was never carried out.

Not that I have much interest in the event itself, but what really makes this day interesting for me is the way it was portrayed in the movie V for Vendetta, starring Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman. One of my most favorite movies that I've watched over and over again, V for Vendetta takes place in a parallel future, in an England ruled by totalitarianism, and in which all of the arts are banned. V, aims to finish what Guy Fawkes started, and soon, Evey, a girl she rescues from the Fingermen, becomes involved in his plot as well.

One of the reasons I love the movie is how music is embedded in it. At the beginning of the movie, V claims to hear music, Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, when he is blowing up a church. The music also plays through the streets of London.

My favorite quote from the movie is; when Creedy (the "bad guy") and his men shoot V, and he is still standing, Creedy asks him why he still hasn't died. V's response to this question is: "Beneath this mask, Mr. Creedy, there is an idea. And ideas are bulletproof."

A Shower in the Audition Room

Today, I watched Woody Allen's new movie, To Rome with Love. I cannot say that I liked it very much, but it does have some nice points. The movie contains four different stories, each taking place in Rome. One of these stories is about a girl tourist from New York and an Italian lawyer who meet in Rome and decide to marry each other. Another story connected to this one is that the parents of the girl (her father played by Woody Allen,Jerry, a failed ex-specialist in the music record industry and the staging of operas) come to meet their in-laws. Jerry hears the boy's father, Giancarlo, singing in the shower and recognizes that he has a beautiful voice and talent, so he takes him to an audition. However, he sings very poorly at his audition, so when Jerry puts on operas starring Giancarlo, he sets up a shower on the stage and Giancarlo sings in the shower, during the show.

This got me thinking on why we can do something perfectly on our own, until we decide to go and show it to someone. When we solve math questions at home, practicing for the exam, we seem to do okay. But when it comes to the actual exam, we seem to write 4x3=7 and blank out on the formulas we need to use. Most people relate this to getting excited.

For me, except in the case of tests, it seems to be the opposite - for most of the time.  I seem to play the most difficult passages of a piece perfectly on stage, while I couldn't get them correct, not even once, at home. But with the sea of people looking at you, the blaring white spot lights, your sheet music neatly laid out side-by-side on the note stand of the piano, this doesn't work all the time.

Even though adrenaline and excitement can push us to do stuff normally out of our reach, they can do the opposite as well - and they do, for most of the time. Everyone sings their audition piece beautifully in the shower, everyone solves the complicated problem at one try at home, everyone can balance the fork on their nose when no one is looking, but the moment one person flicks their eyes at you, all of your extraordinary talents seem to vanish. Only, if only, we could have a shower in the audition room.